Well....today is day #31....why am I still counting???? Good question....I've read over and over how important it is to break the fast gently, to not overtax the heart, to slowly wake the digestive system. So though the fast is "done" I still have to juice for six more days. Two days of juice and God help me, prunes!!! Two days of juice and soft fruits and two of less juice and veggies and fruit and salad.....THEY say six should do it after a 30 days fast....we shall see.
1. I do NOT want to get sick. I've read horror stories where people who broke the fast on pizza, heavy foods have been sicker than dogs, nausea, vomiting, horrific stomach pain and massive constipation due to a system that has temporarily shut down....and those that eat it and have no seemingly ill effects.
2. I don't want to gain back any weight I don't have to...it's been too hard won to blow it now.
3.I want to keep this a positive experience. I have tried so many things to deal with this extra weight and fallen short on most of them. It's demoralizing to try and try and try again and come away from it every time feeling like a failure...like you just don't have the strength of character to follow through...to have a "condition" that makes you so tired, so sick, so much an observer in your own life that you aren't "man" enough to overcome.
4. I want to actually get to a "normal" weight....I want to finally not be fat not just lose some, feel great and then go back to what I've always done...which is eventually gain the weight back and more...wow, where have I heard that before...on the lips of 95 % of "dieters"...it doesn't work!! You either make a complete lifestyle change or it's just a blip on the screen of your fat life story!!
5. I need and want to get to a weight where I can move comfortably, where running is fun, cycling, kayaking, walking long distances is a joy and something I can't wait to do...I want to itch to move and be able to.
When I was young, maybe 15 or 16, when I was thin and able to cartwheel down the street and run full out I saw a very heavy woman with a huge amount of belly weight and I said if that ever happened to me I would cut it off..insensitive??? You bet! I have thought many times over the years that karma had come back to bite me in the ass because of it. You can only move sometimes in the realm of your own experience......I could not relate to her or her pain in any way....now I can...oh how I can.
So...I am off to make some juice, drink some prune soak water and try to gag down some prunes! Maybe they will be okay *she says, trying to see that bee-utiful silver lining*
*LMAO*....yeah...well, that's how they make prune juice...you can't actually juice a prune...why does that make me think of milking tiny little prune animals...I am a sick woman!!
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